Disappointments
The foster agency we had been working with called us last Friday and informed us that they likely would not be willing to issue us a foster parent license due to my husband's disability. This was devastating news and we were both very upset. They knew about his disability before we even had our first meeting with them and they never said a thing about it until last week. We had already invested a ton of time, money and emotional energy into this and they never even mentioned having concerns.
We talked about filing a discrimination lawsuit, looking into other agencies, and all that. But, at the end of the day, we felt like all of that would just be a tremendous waste of resources and we would still be without children. The only other option (besides private adoption which just costs way too much) is for hubby to get a vasectomy reversal. (Which costs a lot, too, but less than private adoption.)
So, that is the plan. There is, apparently, an 85% chance of pregnancy after the procedure. That is better than a 0% chance from foster/adoption, I suppose. I really didn't want to be pregnant again, but we want more kids. It is too bad that we will not be allowed to give a good home to very needy children, but will just have to bring more into the world. There are already plenty out there who need good parents. Oh well...that is our fine government/legal system at work for us!
Monday
Getting back to my old good habits is difficult. The hardest part is getting out of bed for running. I have made it out the door three times since I wrote last and it felt great. It is also getting easier to do.
I am struggling with my achilles tendonitis, again. However, I found this morning that if I just give it enough time to warm up, I do not have any problems with it. I walked for a good 10 - 15 minutes and then ran most of the remaining 15 - 20 minutes with no pain. While I am very anxious to get back to where running 10 - 13 miles was pretty easy, I know I have to ease back into it and let my tendonitis warm up to the idea, too.
We started our foster/adopt training classes this weekend and we have 5 more to go to over the next 8 days. Tonight is CPR/First Aid certification Then it is paperwork, paperwork, paperwork and some meetings, etc. There is a lot involved with this process. One of the "funniest" things is that we have to acquire a box that locks to store ALL medication in--even stuff as seemingly harmless as neosporin. I wonder if the carmex will have to get locked up, too?
I have been pondering getting another account with CalorieKing to help me monitor my caloric intake. But, I know how to do this....I'm just not for whatever reason.
Need Git-Up-N-Go
I am having a really difficult time getting back into my running. I ran 3 miles last Saturday; I ran on Monday and I should have run on Tuesday, but I was just so tired and achy. I tried again this morning-no go. Tomorrow is a regularly scheduled run day and I really want to get out there and do it. I feel fantastic once I get out there, but getting out there is the hardest part.
The bathroom is looking much more put together today. I got the painting finished yesterday and started some clean up. I am going to sand the baseboards tonight and then clean the floor. I may get the time to finish caulking tonight--who knows. After that I have to paint the baseboards, then the doors. It seems like so much but so little... This week will be six weeks I have spent in the bathroom. Oy. It seems like it will never end. Oh, and I forgot about the new towel bars and mirrors left to hang, too...
I like to blame the bathroom project for my lack of energy in getting out on the road. I'm afraid it is just a sorry-assed excuse, though. My whole body aches. I am being a baby. I need to just suck it up and go. I miss my gym membership really badly. I loved Lifetime Fitness. We all loved it.
Friday
What an adventure in la la land.... I've be so busy I can barely believe it. But, things are starting to settle down-again.
I've been away since late February, basically. That is when we moved back into our house. I've been in home improvement/repair prison ever since. Almost every minute of my life has been devoted to DOING since then. We were having some pretty severe allergy issues so we decided to rip up the carpeting out of the master BATHROOM and we found black mold in the carpeting and in the foundation. What a surprise, right? Who woulda thought that carpeting in a bathroom could get mold. LOL. Anyway, I had this tile I bought like 4 years ago and I decided to figure out how hard it was to lay tile. Yikes. I started that like 5 weeks ago and just finished last night. Replacing the floor also led to a full-fledged bathroom makeover... You know how that goes. I still have a few weeks of bathroom makeover left, but we are on the downhill side of the project, now.
Anyway, an update on the fitness goals: I have gained some weight back but I am still wearing the same size I was in October--just barely. I've tried to get back into running on a few occasions but I found that I just didn't have the interest without a goal. So, I found a goal: the white rock lake marathon in December. I have no idea if I'll be ready, or even if I'll do it, but it is something to work towards and if I have a goal I try my hardest to meet it. There are a ton of people that run in my immediate surroundings, but there are no running stores and no running groups. Go figure. It's probably just a matter of time before RunOn! opens a store in this area. We have the right demographics for them to succeed out here. They have several other locations in the metro area.
My husband and I have decided to become foster parents in hopes of finding two children to adopt. We start our training next weekend and will probably have a larger family at the end of the summer. I am excited and nervous at the same time. We love being parents and trying to have children of our own will be very costly, painful and not guaranteed to even work. Plus, I am already in my thirties and do not want to have babies past 35. We are hoping to find a pair of siblings that are between the ages of 2 and 8. My son is 9.5 so that would work out well for everyone. Hubby wants at least one girl but not two boys. I want at least one more boy, but not two girls. LOL. I'm not even sure I want one girl... I would be perfectly happy in a household full of boys. My husband couldn't handle that, though. He'd prefer a household full of girls--so he thinks, anyway
. I have a very strong personality and he just has no idea what happens when you have a bunch of strong women under the same roof.
Gettin' My Groove Back
I finally made it out the door at 5:50 this morning to run. Yahoo. Man, that felt soooooo good. Last week was a great week in the food department and I finally feel like I am getting back into my regular healthy lifestyle. We didn't eat out once last week and salads have become a regular part of our cuisine, once again. My insides feel better and my mood is improving.
I spent the whole weekend working on the boy's bedroom. The big thing we promised him when we moved back, in order to help make the move back less traumatic, was to give him a new room, with new furniture and everything, and he gets to pick it all out. We got paint, a ceiling fan, blinds, sheets, a comforter set and a new mattress set (queen size, instead of the twin he had) this weekend. Oh, and new door hardware, of course. He decided he wanted two different colors in his room. I didn't realize how difficult it was to pull this off successfully. I am still trying to perfect where one wall meets the other wall of a different color. That is hard work. I think it is going to require a small artists paintbrush to get it just right. But, he is worth it and I enjoy the challenge. :)
Hubby and I have been throwing out the idea of having more children over the last 16 months. This will require him to get his vasectomy reversed, and I may have to go on fertility drugs because of my PCOS. Neither of us liked those things (they are expensive and not guaranteed to work) and we have been considering adoption lately. We both think we really don't want to have babies, anyway, so we've been thinking about adopting a younger sibling group of two children. I was getting certified to become a foster/adoptive parent several years ago through the State but decided not to because of some of the rules and burdens. We have inquired into a Christian organization who will act as a middleman between us and the state and I think that will cure the problems I had with working directly with the State. We'll see. I remember that my brother (who is a Sheriff's Deputy in California) said I was crazy for wanting to take children placed in State custody because of the problems I'd be bringing into my home. Those children didn't ask to be born into neglective/abusive families. It's not their fault. They are just children and need a good home and good parents. Last time I checked, my own son wasn't the epitome of perfection...call me crazy.
I'm Back
Wow, I really can't believe I haven't written in my blog in over a month. I have been traveling for work three of the last four weeks and still trying to get the house in order. I have been trying to get back into my running for two weeks, but I keep getting sent out of town a the last minute. I will be home tomorrow morning and I want to sart with a 20-25 minute run tomorrow morning and go for a 3 mile run on Saturday morning. The weather is supposed to be really nice tomorrow.
I've settled down emotionally from getting the house back to it's original condition. I had to replace the back door (frame and all) a couple of weeks ago as it was rotted. And my house is only 6 years old...that was a very expensive and time-consuming venture. The paint job got ruined by the cat and my husband and I tried to sand it down and re-do it. That didn't work and now it looks worse than it did before. I've got to find some kind of paint stripper and start from the bare metal and re-primer it and everything...oy.
My clothes still fit me so I am convinced I am doing a decent job at maintaining my weight. I think I am about 10 lbs up from November, but I'm holding according to my clothes. The eating hasn't been great, but not nearly as bad as it was while we were living with Dad. Today we go to the grocery store and it is back to healthy foods and eating at home. We've spent sooo much money eating out over the last few months.
Hopefully I can write back tomorrow that I actually ran! Wouldn't that be awesome?
Missing
Wow, it has been a long time since I wrote. Long time for me, anyway. I never did do my weigh-in. I seem to be lacking a stable surface in which to place the scale permanently. Who knew? LOL.
Things are still pretty chaotic around the house. It seems like there just isn't enough time in the day to get everything done. That, and I am trying to do too much. I seem to be having some kind of emotional reaction to moving back into my house. There are marks and dings on the walls that we didn't make. Stains on the carpeting that I don't know how it happened. Scratches in the countertops that we didn't create...and it all REALLY bugs me. I have been hell-bent on cleaning/sanitizing/painting/fixing everything before I will allow us to "move into" those areas. The hallways were bothering me everytime I walked down one because I didn't know what it was that was on it. So I have decided just to paint the entire house. I seem to be marking my territory in my own way. Weird.
Of course, I am already making plans to rip out the carpeting and to remodel the kitchen. And my poor family is just trying to put up with it all. I finished the master bedroom and now that is ours and I hope to finish the office tonight. Our new office furniture was delivered today so I need to finish painting the office so that we can have at least two areas of the house that are settled.
My son doesn't seem to be adjusting to school very well, at all. We had a conference this morning with his teacher and she was, of course, pushing for ADD medication--as the public school system always seems to do. Why do they do that? Why does every boy who is bored in school need medication? Why must something be wrong with
him instead of wrong with the
system? Maybe the
system needs to be medicated and taking therapy, and not my boy? Ever think about that?
His teacher says he can't do the work. I have SAT test results that place him at a 6th grade level a year ago and he passed their damned 3rd grade state test with lots of room to spare. How does a child who can't do the work get those kinds of test grades? I asked if he looks like he is interested in class, even during hands-on activities and she says "no." Hello. Doesn't that speak volumes? Alright, I need to quit ranting. I think I will take him back to the therapist we saw a few years ago when the last public school teacher was pill pushing. As eager as therapists are to diagnose ADD for a parent, he wouldn't. At least some people have a brain and still use them. Finding those people are getting harder and harder to do.
